The "S" Word

Since the very first week of my first pregnancy, I've struggled to keep the "shoulds" out of my momming life. You should be taking fish oil for the baby's brain development. You should not eat this sugar. You should be reading more books about what to expect when you're expecting. As soon as an actual baby was born, the list--had I allowed it to penetrate my life--would have smothered me. There's so much that as moms we could do to ensure the stability, health and wellness of our babes...so much that we (okay, I'll say it once) should do. What I have to remind myself of (daily!) is what I am doing is enough. More than enough. It's, usually, for the most part, almost always, pretty damn good. I think.

Then I pick up a parenting magazine.

Seriously. Are these magazines meant to support mothers? Because I just read one from cover to cover and I find myself Googling creative art projects and homemade granola bar recipes tonight in order to make sure that by the end of the day tomorrow my kids aren't bored, detached, falling behind their peers and headed for therapy sessions. My head is swimming with pre-school curriculum ideas that introduce topics of gravity, sequencing, critical analysis and large motor skill coordination. To think that mere hours ago my big plan was to pack a snack and go to the park.

Then I get bored (detached, falling behind my peers?) and click out of "Perfect Parenting" and check out what my friends on Facebook have to say about Michael Jackson's death today. I'm TIRED.

Who are these parents? ARE they parents? Are they parents of kids who are CURRENTLY five and three and 6 months or are their kids now in college (Ivy League, of course, with no therapists in the wings, sporting organic cotton free trade outfits over their vegetarian diet fed selves and nurturing healthy stable relationships on all fronts, but I digress...). Are the authors of these articles writing about what they SHOULD have done as parents of young kids? Because some of this stuff, if not euphoric recall, is simply fantasy. No mom has the time, energy, patience, will or budget to do this stuff. Or do they?

Maybe some do. Maybe instead of reading these things and thinking I should buy all black and white bold shaped items for my newborn, I should simply put down the magazine and do what is fun, inspiring and healthy by my own measure.

If my kids need to talk about that with their therapist someday, I hope they at least mention that we had a really good time together at the park. (And I think that fall off the swing was a pretty convincing lesson in gravity, after all).